Monday, June 18, 2007
How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Charismatic: Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None - Candles only.
Southern Baptists: At least 15 - One to change the lightbulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Disciples of Christ: As many as you want, any bulb you want, and even if you are an organized denomination of lightbulbs you are still loved.
Episcopalians: 4 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, one to set the menu, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your lightbulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a lightbulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Church of Christ: Any number, but you must be a member to change the lightbulb. No music during the changing.
Lutherans: None - Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?